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Duke and the Great Pie War/Transcript
This is an episode transcript for Duke and the Great Pie War. Transcript (The scene opens to Bob and Larry on the countertop.) Bob: Hi, kids! Welcome to VeggieTales! I'm Bob the Tomato... Larry: ...And I'm Larry the Cucumber! Bob: And we're here to answer your questions. Larry: Yep. Bob: Today we got a letter from Cody Gordon in Evergreen, Colorado. Larry: Heya, Colorado Cody! Bob: Now Cody just became a big sister a few weeks ago. Larry: Cool. Congratulations. Bob: She says she likes her baby brother and all but sometimes she gets angry because nobody pays attention to her anymore. Larry: Hmm. Bob: Also she says her mom is always asking her to help with the baby but she can't play as much as she used to. Larry: Oh yeah that's rough. Bob: Yep Cody says her mom wants her to show love to her brother but she's not sure how or even why. Larry: Wow. You know Cody, this reminds me of my little brother, Steve The Cucumber. Bob: You have a brother? Larry: Actually, I have 3 brothers. Steve The Cucumber, Mark The Cucumber and Bob The Cucumber. Bob's the oldest. Bob: You never told me you had brothers. Larry: I'm sure I must have. Bob: I would have rememberd. Bob The Cucumber? I would have remembered if you had a brother named bob. Larry: Oh well sorry. I guess i have never thought about it when i was around you. Bob: I've known you for 10 years. Larry: Has it been that long? Anyway Cody, I used to feel the same about my brother, Steve the Cucumber, when he was born and my mom had a story or two she would tell me when i was feeling that way. Bob: What do they look like? Larry: My Brothers? Like Cucumbers. So Cody, check this out. I hope it helps. Bob: 3 brothers. You think you now a guy. Larry: What? (Babysitter in Denile) Pea: Maxiamo! Miriam(Laura Carrot): Why do i always have to watch it? "Miram do this. Miram do that. Your a big sister." Ugh. (Whistle blows) Lifeguard(Jimmy Gourd): Egyptian Swim! All Hebrews out of the water! Private Princess Swim by Order of the Pharaoh! Everybody out! Miriam: (gasps) Lifeguard: Hey! I said Egyptian swim! Out out out! Miram: (gasps) (Miram gets out of the water to go to her house) (door opens) (people chattering) Miriam's Mother: Miram, Where have you been? I've asked you to help me today. Aaron: Hey Squirt, You're in trouble. Miram: Don't call me squi- Miriam's mother: Miram, You've got a lot of responsibilties now that you're a big sister. You have more to think about than just yourself. Now please go get your-(whispering) Baby brother. Miriam: Well come on, everyone wants to meet you. Baby: (giggles) (people chattering about "the baby") Woman: Isn't the baby adorable? Man: The baby's adorable. Woman: Such a strong looking baby. Woman 2: Takes after my side of the family. Man: Speaking of, where's the baby's father? I don't know if had seen such a baby as this. Miriam: Why does everyone say "the baby?" Can't they say "he?" (everyone shushes miriam) (baby cries) Miriam's mother: Miram, I want you to help me feed the baby. Miriam: Do i have to? Miriam's mother: You'll be taking care of the baby while we're working so it's never to early to learn. Baby: (grunting in refusal) (coos) (the baby grabs the spoon and hits miraim in the face with the baby food) Everyone: Aw. Miram: Don't worry, sweetheart. That's just what babies do. (door opens) Pharaoh Guard(Phillipe): Alright, Party's over! Time to get back to work! Pharaoh Guard(Jean-Claude): Mei oui back to ze brickyards! We quit walk like an egyptian! {P stands for Phillipe and JC stands for Jean-claude} Pharaoh Guard(P): Oh isn't zat sweet? A baby's been born. Pharaoh Guard(JC): Oh ho Another baby. Pharaoh Guard(Phillipe): Let me guess another baby girl. Baby: (giggles) (camera moves to baseball equipment then back to the pharaoh guards) Pharaoh guard(JC): (Offscreen) Oh a girl it is. Pharaoh Guard(P): Hmm alright let's go. To ze Brickyards! Pharaoh Guard(JC): To ze brickyards with all of you! Pharaoh Guard(P): You know statistically speaking, you can expect to see a baby boy or two. Miriam's mother: No matter what you can't let the guards find out he's a boy. Miriam: But why? Miriam's Mother: Miriam, please this is most important thing you'll do. The Pharaoh's guards must never find. I'll explain later. That's a good girl. What is it, Miriam? Miriam: Mom, It's just that you never time for me anymore. Miriam's Mother: Miriam, I would love to stay home with you and the baby, but i can't. Now take care of yourself and the baby until we get back tonight. (Miriam's mom and dad head out to the brickyards leaving Miriam at home with the baby. Miriam sees them leave. Then goes inside the house and closes the door.) Miriam: Here you go, Little baby. Catch the ball. (the Ball bounces on the baby's head) Baby: (coos) Miriam: I used to get all the attention 'till you came along. What good are you? (sniffs his diaper. The diaper smells stinky) Yuck! Not again. (What Can A Baby Do? Starts) {Italic=singing} Miriam: What Can a baby do?(x2) You puny pip, you can't do zip, But lay around and--'' Baby: Coo, coo. Miriam: ''Too small to walk, can't even talk, Oh please learn something new! I'd like a pet, but what I'd get, Is not a dog but you! You sit and drool, oh so not cool, What's all the hoop-dee-do? What Can a Baby Do? Oh, what can a baby do? I can't have fun 'Cuz I'm the one Who's stuck all day with-'' (song ends as the door opens revaling the pharaoh's guards) Pharaoh Guard(P): Aha! Pharaoh guard(JC): You can not hide anything from us! Miriam: Here. I was just changing the baby's diaper. Pharaoh Guard(P and JC): Eeeeeeeeeeew! Miriam: (giggles) (later at night miriam's mom checks on baby) Miriam: (groans and wakes up) Miriam's mom: Go back to sleep, Sweetheart. Everything's fine. Miriam: I've worked so hard today. Miriam's mom: Oh i know you did and thank you but this is what you have to do for the family now. Miriam: I liked it better when i was the baby. Miriam's mom: Well now you're the big sister and being a family means taking care of each other. Miriam: Mom, you still love me do? Miriam's mom: Of course, sweetheart. Nothing has changed. Just like we had enough love for your big brother Aaron after you came along. Miriam: That's different. Miriam's mom: Not at all. Now get some sleep. 'morrow's another big day. You watch the baby again for me won't you? Miriam: I'll do it for you, Mom. Miriam's mom: That's my girl. (the next morning Miriam's mom and dad along with Aaron head out to the brickyards for work leaving Miriam home with the baby) Miriam: "Then the Papa Sphinx said, 'Who's Been eating my hummus?'" (baby grabs the spoon and hits miriam in the face with baby food. The baby does this again about 3 times when the baby refuses to eat the baby food. Then for the fourth time he throws the hole bowl on Miriam's head. Later Miriam is outside sweeping up the road) Aaron: Hey Squirt, you missed a spot. Miriam: (angrily) Stop calling me Squirt! Pharaoh Guard(P): Princess coming through! Make way for ze princess! Pharaoh Guard(JC): Look out for ze princess! Stand back! Aaron: Miriam! Miriam: (gasps) Aaron, Are you alright? Aaron: Yeah I'm okay. Now get out of here before there's trouble. Pharaoh Guard(P): (groans) Who did that? Aaron: Um it was my fault. Pharaoh Guard(JC): Take him back to ze brickyard! No one stands in ze way of ze Princess! Let's go. Miriam: Aaron, why did you do that? Pharaoh Guard: Off with you! Off with you now! Miriam's mom: It's getting more dangerous. It's not safe for the baby anymore. Miriam: Why? What are they doing? Miriam's Father: It's time she'd knew, dear. Miriam's mom: The Pharaoh is afraid of us. There are so many Hebrews in Egypt now but he's afraid we might take over the country. So now they are taking away all the baby boys. That's why we've asked you to watch out for baby. Miriam: The same why Aaron watched out for me? (Miraim's mom nods yes) Miriam: But this is silly. They're just babies. Miriam's dad: We know, sweetheart. That's what we pray for every night. Miriam's mom: (sighs) We can't keep the baby here anymore. It's just not safe Miriam's dad: But where else can we hide him? Miriam's Mom: It's got to be somewhere the Pharaoh's Guards would never look. Miriam: I think i know a place. (whispering) Alright little guy, You've got to be very quiet. (whistle blow) Lifeguard: Egyptian Swim! All Hebrews out of the water! Baby: (cries) Miriam: (shushes the baby) No! (gasps) Oh No! Lifeguard: Hey! Outta here! It's an Egyptian Swim! Baby: (crying) Lifeguard: Hey! It's an Egyptian Swim! Where do you think you're going? Somebody stop her! Guards: (growling) The Princess(Miss Achmethia): Woah! It's like a totally cut baby. Guards: Huh? The Princess: Oh chill out. I am totally keeping him. I'm gonna call him like Moses because we drew him up out of the water. So how do you like take care one of these things? Guards: (shrugs I don't know) Miriam: Uh excuse me, Princess? The Princess: Yah huh? Miriam: If it pleases your Majesty, I think I could find someone to take care of this baby Moses. The Princess: Excellent! Bring him back when can like walk and stuff. And if any of you are ever like harsh to him, I'll have your heads. Pharaoh guard(P): I'm not sure how that would work. Miriam: And the princess you can stay home and take care of him. You don't have to work in the brickyards anymore. Miriam's mom: God answered our prayers. Our little Moses is safe. Miriam's dad: Miriam, we are so proud of you. Miriam: I just love my little brother that's all (baby moses throws food at miriam. Miriam's family laughs) (End of Babysitter in Denile) (The Blues with Larry starts) Announcer: And Now its time for "The Blues with Larry." The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings The Blues. Larry: Hey, everybody! I'm gonna lay down some blues. ''All sunshine and roses, no rain came my way. I said, all sunshine and roses, no rain came my way. Mm-mm. My dad bought me ice cream, oh, happy, happy, happy, happy day! Mm hm. I ate up that ice cream, got some on my face. That's right, right on my face. I said, I ate up that ice cream, got some on my face. Got some on the table, oh happy, sticky, happy, sticky, happy, happy, sticky, happy place. Blind Lemon Lincoln: Hey man, whatcho doin'? Larry: I'm singin' the blues! Blind Lemon Lincoln: Aw, man, the blues is for singin' when you feel sad. Larry: But I don't feel sad. Blind Lemon Lincoln: Man, then you got no business singin' the blues. Here, lemme help you out. Take this (hands Larry ice cream). Larry: Cool! Ice cream! Thanks! Blind Lemon Lincoln: Now gimmie back that ice cream. (eats ice cream) Larry: You took my ice cream. You took it from me. You took my ice cream. You took it away from me. Blind Lemon Lincoln: Oh yeah! Now you're gettin' it. Now listen up. (harmonica solo) Larry: But I'm still not sad. I'll just have a ... cookie! Blind Lemon Lincoln: No, no, no, man! You almost had it. C'mon, like this. You took away my ice cream! You took it away from me. My sweet creamy ice cream, I don't care 'bout no cookie. (Destorys to cookie with his gutiar) Now try it again. Larry: My cookies and ice cream: they both gone away. Blind Lemon Lincoln: That's right. Mm hm. Feel it. Larry: My cookies and ice cream: they both gone away. Blind Lemon Lincoln: Aw, sweet man, sweet. Larry: But that don't bother me none! I got me my freshly baked... strudel! Blind Lemon Lincoln: Wha? Strudel? Man, you can't say strudel in the blues! That don't even rhyme. Larry: Well , what about... poodle! 'Cause I got a poodle. Poodle: Arf! Blind Lemon Lincoln: Oh, no. Don't tell me you're gonna eat that poodle. Larry: No, I'm just gonna pet him! Pettin' poodles makes me happy. Poodle: Arf arf! Blind Lemon Lincoln: Sorry, man. You way too happy to sing the blues. Polka Guy: 'Allo! Would you like to polka? Larry: Sure! Don't got no ice cream, no cookies, no strudel. Don't got no ice cream, no cookies, no strudel. But I'm yodel-a-dee, yodel-a-dee yodel-a-dee happy-hoo! Just here with my poodle. Poodle: Arf! Larry: That's right! Oh yeah! I'm yodel-a-dee, yodel-a-dee, yodel-a-dee happy-hoo! Just me and my poodle. Poodle: Arf arf! Announcer: This has been The Blues with Larry, tune in next time to- oh, never mind. Larry's not likely to be singing the blues again any time soon. (The Blues with Larry ends) (Duke and the Great Pie War) (The Ballad of the pie war start) Singers: The Pie War began upon the first pie thrown Between the Rhubarb Empire and the Kingdom Scone! While the pies did sail and the men fell creamed Rose a family united And a house redeemed! This is a tale of a princess and the duke, And the mother-in-law, who's related to the princess, who at the end of the story becomes related to the duke, It's kind of complicated, It happened once upon a time! Duke, Duke, his name is Duke, A snappy dresser and an upright cuke, Most folks say he is a handsome man, With the rough dimensions of a rack of lamb! Woman: He's hunky! Singers: Sweet, sweet, Petunia sweet, Her eyes are sparkly and her hair is neat, She was named the Princess of her senior prom, Now she lives like a peasant with her aging mom! Nona: Technically I'm her mother-in-law. It's complicated, I'll explain later. Singers: Love, love, true, true love, The kind most fairy tales are made up of, But we've heard these stories, and if we're correct, True love's a little different than you'd expect! (The Ballad of the pie war ends as the story starts) (The Knight school song) Knights: I'm a squire but i'm no girl. I'll be a knight at De Ode Knight school. (song ends as the knight are piled up each other) Irwin(Pa Grape): In all my years, this is gotta be the sourist one you knights had ever seen! You'll never be fit for battle. Knights: Sire yes sire! Irwin: Leave out, Knight's! Keep your heads up! Mate-before-last, You're late again! Sleepless Knight, Stay awake! Next! Knights: Ooh. Irwin: If that had been a pie, You'd be creamed right now! You're hopeless! Otis(Mr. Lunt): Hopeless indeed. Irwin: Otis The Elevated! What an honor, Sire! Men, This is your knight school's most illustrious graduate. Otis: Allow me to show you how it is done. Sleepless Knight(Jimmy): (yawns) Otis: Sleepless Knight, Charge me and knock at me off my feet. Sleepless Knight: Huh? Alright. (charges at Otis but Otis Blinds him with sunlight reflected off the surface of a sheld which causes Sleepless Knight to fall to the ground in front of Otis) Otis: Hehehe. All is fair in love and war. Duke: I don't think that's right. Novak: Here ye, here ye! Otis the elevated will be taking all comers in the annual jousting tournament if any of you are up to the challenge. Which I know you aren't. Otis: Thank you, Novak. Remember lads, this is the training that could save your life when facing a Rhubarbarian. Watch out for yourself, there's not a nice one among them. (Camera fades to Nona and Petunia's front yard) Petunia: Soup's ready! It's water soup. Again. Nona: Mmhmm, with water sauce! Sweet, sweet Petunia, you have been so kind to me all these years. Petunia: And you to me, mother. Nona: In law! Petunia: Yes, I know. But you've been just like a mother to me, Nona. Villager: Well if it isn't the Rhubarbarian. Go back to your own kingdom, Rhubarbarian! Petunia: Nona, I don't really seem to fit in since our arrival here in Scone. We've become very poor and everyone is rather mean to me here. (Camera changes to Duke and Lucas walking down the road.) Duke: Catchy tune. Lucas: It's that new surf music. Duke: Lucas, why are we taking this path back home? We don't have to check on my orchards. Harvest was last week. Lucas: I told you this morning sire, Nona has moved back to town and she wanted you to stop by. Duke: Nona? My second cousin? Lucas: Twice removed. Oh look, there she is now. (Camera changes to a shot of Nona and Petunia in front of their house) Duke: Wow! Nona sure has...changed. Lucas: Sire, Nona is the short one. Duke: Oh, well then, who's the tall kind one? Lucas: That would be Petunia. But sire, I advise you not to have anything to do with her. After all, she is a Rhubarbarian. Duke: Oh, pish-posh, Lucas! The war's old news. Look how kind she is. Nona: Why, Duke Duke, what a surprise. Duke: Why, hello, Nona! It's good to see ya! Nona: By the way, have I introduced you to sweet, sweet Petunia? She has been caring for me since our return. Petunia: Oh, Duke Duke, Nona has told me so much about you. Soup? Well there's not much, but we would gladly share it with you. Duke: Why, thank you,... Petunia: Oh, you're,... Duke & Petunia: I'll get it. Petunia: Oh, sorry, excuse me. Duke: No, I'm such an oaf. Let me make it up to you. What do you need, my lady? Anything at all. Petunia: Oh, nothing really, sire. Nona: Yes, especially because we live in a tree stump with no food to speak of. We don't need anything, nothing at all. Lucas: Sire, love and war. Remember, the war! Duke: Nonsense! The least I could do is let you gather leftover apples from my orchards here. You can take whatever you'd like. Petunia: Why, thank you. You really are too kind, Duke Duke. Duke: Oh, no need for formality. You can call me: Duke. Petunia: Bye, Duke Duke. I mean, Duke. Duke: Bye-bye, sweet, sweet Petunia! Lucas: Uh, sire, you were getting rather friendly with that foreign girl. You know how the citizens of Scone are toward anyone being friendly to a Rhubarbarian. Duke: Oh Lucas, you're overreacting. 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